Bicycles and Physics
In the Year of Our Lord 1986, on the first Wednesday in June, my parents bought me my first adult-sized bicycle. It was a Redline. My brother got a Mongoose the same day. The other popular bike at the time was a Haro, which was too expensive for us. I don’t know whether they make any of these bikes today, but at the time this was as special a possession as humanly possible. I remember the day specifically because we had no school the next day due to that glorious regional holiday called Brooklyn-Queens Day, “celebrated” on the first Thursday in June, a surprise random day off towards the end of each school year.
On that particular Thursday in the sixth grade, my brother and I rode our bikes all day until the sun went down, which I distinctly remember to be a glorious sunny day with angels descending down from the heavens to admire and bless our sweet new rides.
For the next five years, I rode my beloved Redline around the streets of Queens, adding pegs to the back wheels so that my sad bike-less friends could ride along and be less sad. During those years, that bike was both a symbol of—and means to—independence. We would get on that Redline and travel to distant locations throughout Queens, most notably McDonalds, Burger King, and Roy Rogers, all strategically situated on Queens Boulevard, often paying with loose change we would find in our couches and mothers’ pocket books. Fun fact: the infringing McDowell’s fast food restaurant from Coming to America was filmed at one of our go-to McDonald’s. “My buns have no seeds.”
As glorious as that early bike memory was, I have equally distinct memories of almost dying on that Redline multiple times. There were close calls with cars (parked and moving), trucks, curbs, pedestrians, me flying over the handlebars, my friend falling backwards off the pegs. The screeching of car brakes still rings in my nightmares. Did I mention that Queens Boulevard is widely considered to be one of the deadliest streets in America, once dubbed the “Boulevard of Death?” Did you really just ask whether we wore helmets? I’m not sure they were even invented yet, so no. To this day, I consider it a miracle that we didn’t die riding that bike. I don’t know what ever happened to the Redline, but in my opinion it should be placed in the Smithsonian next to fighter jets and tanks. It saw just as much combat action.
We were supposed to be smart kids, but we were dumb for flying around those Queens streets for the sole privilege of getting in on that $2.99 McRib deal. It was reckless, yes, but despite the hazards of those rides, one thing my friends and I never did was complain that the conditions in Queens were unfairly dangerous for bikes. For a kid, that danger is intuitive. In fact, it was part of the appeal. (They even made a movie starring Kevin Bacon, Quicksilver, about how exhilarating and dangerous it was to ride bikes around the city). It did not take any kind of genius to understand that all those cars and trucks had places to get to—urgently—that they moved faster than us, that they were much bigger than us, more powerful than us, that they were made of heavy metal, and that the people operating them also understood all of these things. We were sharing those streets only at their pleasure.
Fast forward to adulthood. A few years back, when my son was in middle school, I received a call from a concerned parent. “I wanted to let you know that your son is out tonight on 86th Street riding his bike with his friends and they’re in the street and not wearing helmets. I thought you would want to know.” Thanks, Narc. I scoffed, but of course she was right. Other than experimenting with heroin, this seemed like the second most reckless thing a kid could be doing on Brooklyn streets on a rainy summer night. We called him back home and handed him a MetroCard. You can take the bus, buddy. Maybe I was having flashbacks from the McRib days, but more likely I was just employing cruel common sense. Riding bikes in the middle of the city is an inherently dangerous activity.
Even if it might seem obvious, this is apparently a fact for which many have yet to receive the memo. By this I mean there is a prevailing strain of thought that says that bicycles are entitled by right to unfettered safe access across the five boroughs. That if this entitlement is upset, there is now a problem that needs to be solved, whether through the reconfiguration of streets, the construction of bicycle-friendly infrastructure, or otherwise a push to change the cultural and psychological makeup of the residents of New York City. To their credit, I’m sure New York is safer for cyclists than it was during the Redline years, but “safer” is not the same as “safe.” The paradox, of course, is that every time you create more designated space for bicycles, you remove space for cars, which only puts added strain on their already tortured existence. Also, just like adding more traffic lanes encourages more cars, adding more bike lanes encourages more bikes. Something has to give.
Last year marked the highest total of bicycle deaths in New York City in a generation (30 people). The number of bikes on the streets has increased exponentially in recent years, but the conditions for drivers have, euphemistically, not improved. Given the increased number of bicycles, the fall-out of more people being killed and injured on bicycles is not surprising. But what is surprising is the surprise others express about this reality. Don’t get me wrong, all of these deaths are tragic, but personally, I’m shocked there aren’t thousands more. This is especially the case when one reflects on the recent Citi Bike program, which has encouraged throngs of people who aren’t from around here to engage in an activity so risky that it should be an event in the Hunger Games—riding rented bikes around an unfamiliar city helmet-less in heavy traffic. They might as well be sending infantrymen over the top of the trenches at the Somme. Despite this obvious recipe for carnage, whenever there is an incident, there is an outcry, there are lawsuits, there are calls to fix something that is wrong.
What is wrong, precisely? That in a city with millions of vehicles barreling around every day, that the exposed people pedaling next to them with no means to defend themselves against these flying metal motorized projectiles operated by imbeciles sometimes find themselves on the short end of those interactions?
For the record, do not for a minute regard any of this as a defense of drivers. Oh, lord no. The deterioration of driving into the sociopathic morass we wade through today is an abomination, but one must look past the “should” and regard what “is.” Yeah, sure, drivers should learn to share the road with cyclists better. And to not get mad when you’re driving and have to pass the same bike ten times because you stop at every red light and they don’t. Only someone who doesn’t have to drive in New York City can genuinely believe that it is possible for New York City to be a reasonably safe place for bicycles. The city can be merciless to anyone who has to go anywhere, to cyclists and drivers alike. You can threaten them with fines and jail and public shame. But ask any motorist stuck in traffic whether they would rather continue on their route or go directly to prison, even death row, and you will surely get a myriad of colorful and surprising responses. The incentives are irrelevant. The physics is what matters.
What matters is that in a showdown between the car and the bicycle, the car always wins. You can change all the laws you want, but you won’t change the only laws that matter here: Newton’s laws.
To illustrate the utter cluelessness of this mode of thinking, take a look at this gem from the website of an advocacy group dedicated to bicycle safety:
Common factors that contribute to the cause of cycling accidents include:
Speeding and reckless driving
Distracted driving
Driving in a bicycle lane
Failing to yield the right of way
Following a bicycle too closely
Impaired driving
Drowsy driving
Failing to follow traffic laws
https://www.peoplepoweredmovement.org/nyc-bicycle-safety-overview-infrastructure-crash-stats/
Notice who is apparently to blame for every conceivable accident involving a bicycle? I respectfully would like to include one more factor that contributes to cycling accidents, perhaps the most important one:
Riding your bicycle next to where a lot of cars and trucks are driving.
I also enjoyed this telling quote from a public official with respect to efforts to improve bike safety.
“We need to have the political courage across all levels of government to create a city that is walkable, prioritizes pedestrians, and ends these senseless murders.”
“Murders?” Maybe it’s the lawyer in me, but for God’s sake, please at least attempt to be precise with your words. Those truck drivers that make blind right turns are not murderers, yet according to this logic, they are apparently no better than OJ Simpson. [Editor’s note: Mr. Simpson was acquitted by a jury of his peers on all criminal charges related to the deaths of Ms. Brown-Simpson and Mr. Goldman.]
To anyone contemplating hopping on a Citi Bike and exploring the majesty that is the five boroughs, I implore you. Go to the nearest automobile and approach the driver. Go on up and talk to them. Make a mental note of their mood and disposition. Then remember that every day you get on a bike and ride down the street, you’re putting your lives in their hands. And this is why my bike hasn’t seen the light of day in years.
Go ahead, cyclists, raise your undersized fists into the air and rage against this reality. But consider this a reminder: the cars always win.
If you’re going to blame somebody, blame Isaac Newton.