My Infinite Loop of Despair

A Tribute to the Great Carl Weathers

“Journal - February 2, 2024

Today, I woke up and did what I do every day.  I didn’t let the fact that it was Groundhog’s Day interfere with my daily routine.  I popped Rocky III into the VCR and settled into my day.

I enjoy many things about that movie, especially when Apollo and Rocky race on the beach and jump up and down in the water.  Other things happen, too.

Towards the end of the film, Apollo and Rocky wear lots of padding around their genital region and prepare to fight each other in the old gym.  ‘Ding, ding,’ says Apollo as they prepare to spar.  But as the combatants are about to deliver their first blows, the movie abruptly ends, forcing us to watch Rocky IV to find out what happens. 

I poured myself another bowl of Fruity Pebbles and placed Rocky IV into the VCR.  Unfortunately, the beginning of the movie is confusing and it is not revealed who won the crucial fight between Rocky and Apollo, but I continued watching, hoping to find out.  There was other stuff going on, too, like an evil Russian boxer who bashes a bunch of stuff.

One of the things he bashes is Apollo’s head, and he dies.

I had a feeling this was going to happen, but it stings every time.  Through my tears, I hit the EJECT button.

To cheer myself up, I started watching my favorite comedy, Happy Gilmore.  Nothing lifts my spirits more than the silly antics of Gilmore and his mentor, Chubbs Peterson. At first I was sad that Chubbs only has one hand due to the other being lost in an alligator attack, but am gladdened that he helps Gilmore win at golf.  I suppose this is why the movie is called Happy Gilmore. 

But alas, as movies are fond of doing for some reason, this one breaks my heart as well.  Chubbs Peterson falls out the window to his death.  I didn’t bother watching the rest. 

Then something very odd and unrelated happened.  My mother came downstairs to tell me that an actor named Carl Weathers had just died.  ‘I just thought you would want to know,’ she said. 

Okay?  I was confused, still reeling from the death of Chubbs, unable to contemplate the death of a person named Carl Weathers.  The only Carl Weathers I remembered was a character from the show, Arrested Development, but no actors by that name.  It did make me sad to hear that an old actor died, though, especially on Groundhog’s Day, of all days, the holiest and most joyous of holidays.

I decided I needed a distraction from all the death around me, so I popped in my next tape: Predator. 

I enjoyed the banter when Dillon and Dutch first meet in the jungle, but didn’t like it when Dillon’s arm was ripped off by the Predator, nor when the alien stabbed him right through his middle.  Depressed, I went straight to bed.

February 3, 2024 February 2, 2024

The next day I woke up, filled with energy, ready to conquer the day.  So I popped Rocky III back into the VCR and poured myself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

It was around the time when Apollo and Rocky were racing on the beach when I first realized something was off.  Then, when they started jumping up and down in the water, it finally hit me:  I was reliving the same day!  It was still Groundhog’s Day!

Determined to not only solve my cursed predicament, but also to find meaning in the universe, I immediately realized the opportunity this gave me.  This meant that the old actor, Carl Weathers, was still alive!

I bought some hot soup from the store.  I remembered a movie I once saw, I forget which, where if you feed an old man soup, he would not die.  Alas, when I arrived at his home, his family said that he was already dead, having passed away peacefully in his sleep. 

Saddened, I returned home and decided to take my mind off Carl Weathers’ death.  So I watched Predator again. 

The next day, I woke up, and it was all the same. Rocky III, first third of Rocky IV, Happy Gilmore, and Predator.  Seemingly nothing I did could change my lot.  By my estimation, I have relieved that same day at least 10,000 times, give or take.  At some point it became impossible to count.  I even kept going back to try to save Carl Weathers, but every time I went to his house, his family got more and more angry.  Finally, there were cops waiting for me and my soup.  I never went back.  If he dies, he dies.

When I returned home, I thought deeply about my life, and was reminded of a line from a movie I once saw a long time ago.

‘There is no tomorrow!  There is no tomorrow.’

I forget which movie.”    

RIP Carl Weathers (1948-2024) 

“You take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato… baby, you got a stew going!